What is it that makes the difference between being a
“survivor” or a “victim” when life challenges us? I reflected upon this recently
and came to the conclusion that it was having a sense of self-sufficiency in
life. Self-sufficiency means the ability to supply one’s own needs.
The development of this quality begins in early
childhood, and comes naturally to humans. Think of the two-year old who
adamantly insists, “I do it myself!” It starts with feeding oneself, dressing
oneself, and progresses to learning to read to
oneself.
Children should be encouraged to practice
self-sufficiency at every stage—that means we do not do things for them that
they are capable of doing themselves. They can learn to help with meal
preparation, doing laundry and cleaning. They can help with grocery shopping,
and washing the car.
As they get older they can prepare meals and learn to
change the oil in their car. By the age of fifteen or sixteen they should begin
some part time work. They should be taught how to save—even to invest. They also
could be responsible for purchasing some of their own products.
Children who are raised to be self-sufficient develop
confidence and positive self-esteem. They grow up to be productive adults who
take responsibility for their lives, their needs and their finances. They will
not collapse under stress looking around for someone to bail them out. Parenting
for self-sufficiency creates strong individuals and a strong
society.
Gwen Randall-Young
is a Chartered Psychologist in private practice. www.gwen.ca
